The Top 4 Reasons Women Hate Porn

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Barring a situation where a couple met during the making of a porn film, there will come a time when one of the pair (let’s be honest and say 99% of the time the “one of the pair” will be the woman) comes across some form of pornography that is entertained by their mate. Back in the day it would have been a DVD, jack-zine, or, for those in Gandalf’s age group, a video cassette. Regardless of the type of media an instant wash of emotions will pulse through the woman: hurt, betrayal, anger, etc..

During the initial confrontation there will be the normal shaming tactics thrust upon the offending mate, disgusting, childish, degrading, and degenerate are a few of the choice words that will be fired into the heart of the culprit. Whatever combination of emotionally charged words the conversation will always, ALWAYS, devolve into the following:

Man: …I…I…I…?

Woman:  Whatever. What I really want to know is why? WHY do you feel the need to look at that, that, that filth when you have me? Am I not enough to satisfy you sexually?

This is a brilliant little bear trap she has set. And unless he has just injected a horse syringe of testosterone into this carotid artery he will fall for it.

Man: Of course you are enough for me. I love you.

If the man were to look close enough he would see the spontaneous villain stash sprout on his mate’s upper lip.

Woman: Okay. Then why do you feel compelled to look at that shit? Do you have some kind of problem? Are you some kind of addict?

Man: No!

Woman: Oh, so you’re just a degenerate?

Man: No!

The conversation will continue on through the night and following days with the man further steeped in doubt and shame while groveling to make things right with his woman until finally he makes the un-keep-able promise “I’m done with it! I will NEVER look at porn again.” From thereon out is a descent into madness and doom.

From here I could pontificate back and forth in the same vein, but we really wouldn’t get anywhere. The real question(s) with regards to this ongoing and ever present relationship dilemma is: Why Do Women Hate Porn So Fucking Much?

I have pared it down to the 4 most important reasons. Here they are in no particular order.

1. PORN CHALLENGES A WOMAN’S OWNERSHIP OF HER MAN’S SEXUALITY. The perceived (see #3 for further details) difference between male and female sexuality, and more specifically libido, has placed women in the driver’s seat as far as sex. A man’s overwhelming lust for the object of his desire places him at a significant disadvantage. In essence, his desire need to have sex with her on a repeated basis in essence places him in a metaphorical high interest pussy loan position within the relationship. He therefore must adhere to her set of rules and regulation in order to be able to fuck her. If he defaults on a few of the rules or demands the pussy is locked in ice with no outlet for his lust.

Similar to prostitution, pornography provides an alternative to being beholden to a single woman’s pussy bank. Women despise this and always have. It becomes a lot more difficult to get a man to commit submit when pussy is available for a few hundred dollars, or free to at least view on the internet.

It is the equivalent of interest free loans, zero fee banking, and flat taxes; too much prosperity and way too little control.

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2. PORN CHALLENGES WOMEN TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BODIES. There is a myth that many women porn stars are mere drug addicts, alcoholics, and sex abuse victims who stay lean because they live on booze, meth and diet pills. “That’s why their bodies are so lean!” Mrs. Insecurity will huff. “She’s a fucking drug addict.”

And while this may be true in some circumstances, just as it may be the case with a few people in the office you work in; it is not the rule. The truth is, excluding amateur and fetish films, Porn Starlets know that 75% or more of their marketability is based on keeping their bodies in shape. In high-end porn, pussy alone is not bank enough; it is the whole package that matters. This horrifies your average woman. The mere notion that she might have to stay in shape to keep her husband interested in her sexually is more than most women can handle. The thought that she might have to eat a sensible diet and actually do some hard work in the gym is enough to cause a full-on nuclear meltdown in most women. I mean, marriage is supposed to be the time when you kick back, pop out a few kids to convince yourself that your life is not a complete waste, and watch The Voice while consuming a sleeve of Oreos, right? All that “staying in shape” shit is for dating, not for marriage, right? RIGHT?

Thus we have blanket statements like, “Porn creates unrealistic expectations for women.” Um, not living the lifestyle of a pachyderm is unrealistic?

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3. IT DISRUPTS THE PERCEPTION THAT PUSSY AND TITS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT ARE SEXUALLY BEAUTIFUL. Between the ages of say 5 and 10 the majority of my friends were girls of the same age. We would do all the normal kid playing stuff, but there was an extra dynamic in those friendships. We were both equally interested in what each other looked like with our clothes off. Because none of us really had any clue as to what actual sex was about, or how it was performed, our mutual interest centered on viewing each other’s bodies from an aesthetic standpoint. Interestingly enough, I can think of no instance when one of my girl buddies expressed disdain, or disgust at my male form. In fact, their enthusiasm sometimes exceeded my own. There was no competition about whose genitals looked more attractive. We were content that all of us had something equally fascinating and attractive enough to gaze upon.

It wasn’t until late middle school that things changed. It was at the age when breast buds were first developing, and boys were so blatantly enamored with them, that I saw the first wrinkled noses of disdain, eye rolls of exasperation, and the grunt of “Ew” punctuating almost every sentence that pertained to boys in general. Somewhere between the ages of 10 and 13 all the girls shifted from being compelled to look at boys naked to being utterly revolted by them. What the hell happened? Where did the mutual admiration go? I’ll tell you where it went.

As children boys and girls really aren’t vying for power over each other, barring the minor scuffle over who gets to play with what toy. Unencumbered by sexual dynamics they spend time in each other’s company because they simply like being in each other’s company. But once those first hints of boobs appear, and the male interest in them becomes blatantly apparent, a seismic shift occurs. The pubescent girls are given the first taste of power that they might hold. But that power can only be seized if the scales are fully tipped. There is no power if both sides are mutually desirous of each other. No. One side has to be the coveted and one side has to be the covetous. It is at this point that girls adopt the attitude that boys are stinky and gross, their bodies are yucky, and to see an actual penis? “Um…Ew.”

Power is addictive in all forms. Women certainly aren’t exempt. Therefore this “Ew” attitude continues throughout their lives and is supported by all types of media. Well, except for one: Porn.

Porn re-opens the doorway for men to see, or imagine, a world in which women are actually attracted to men’s bodies; where they want to fuck, and suck cock, and lick balls, and have their asses and pussies devoured. A world where semen isn’t the equivalent of diarrhea, and an erect cock is something beautiful rather than something to look past and endure. Porn resets the table where both men and women are equally coveted and covetous.

And that glimpse, that peek, through the wormhole can potentially upset the power structure in the average male/female relationship. It is the potential gateway through which men might see the truth behind the façade, or God forbid, search for a better, more truthful sexual existence.

Porn, and the male/female attitudes it portrays could potentially bring the house of cards that is many of our relationships to the floor. Therefore it must be despise and reviled at all costs.

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And lastly…

4. BECAUSE MEN LIE ABOUT IT, THEY REVEAL HOW weak THEY ARE. In spite of what the media portrays, and what is spouted off in women’s studies and political science classes, women inherently want strong men, both emotionally and physically. They want to be with the James Bonds, and Ned Starks, and William Wallaces of the world, not some mewling and puking child who cowers under her glower.

The simple fact that the majority of men will lie and avoid when confronted with the “Are you looking at porn?” question, and then promise to not do it again when faced with the fact that their woman has hurt feelings is enough to make even the most accepting of women vomit with disgust in the face of such weakness.

How could you not hate something (in this case porn) that so definitively shatters the image of their prince?

And really men, what the fuck are you so scared of when she does confront you? Do you really think she’s concerned that you are a degenerate? A sex addict? Hardy har har. The reason she is butt hurt is because she just got slammed in the forehead with the fact that she is not living up to her end of the bargain in terms of your sexual relationship and her ego wants to eject that knowledge at any price. And you let her off the hook? You cave in and jettison any hope of making the situation better, or maybe even awesome? Shit. She should be disgusted.

Now before I give you a few examples of how you might respond to the “Are you looking at porn?” question, I should say that if you are indeed a man, and you really do want a long term relationship with a certain woman, you should be up front from the beginning about your kinks and porn habits. I would say that 8/10 times you’ll be surprised at the lack of revulsion from the woman. And even if she isn’t into exactly the same things as you, she will be at least interested in helping you fulfill your dirty needs.  And for the 20% who are completely grossed out by your perversion(s), who gives a fuck? Why the hell would you want to invest in someone who wasn’t compatible with you sexually?

Okay. Now for those who were weak fucking idiots and hid their porn and kinks from their girls and when now confronted might want to hang onto an ounce of self respect, here are a few responses that might go over better than “It’s not mine,” and “I promise I won’t do it again.”

Example A:

Woman: I was on the computer and happened to come across your internet history. What the fuck?

Man: Jesus Christ. It took you long enough. I’ve been leaving that up there for the past year hoping you’d take the fucking hint. I must say, you are not quick on the up-take, my dear. Let’s hope your ass skills are more acute than your detective skills.

Example B:

Woman: I was on the computer and happened to come across your internet history. What the fuck?

Man: Thank you. I almost forgot. Take a look at the forth one down. I wanted you to see it before we tried it.

Example C:

Woman: I was on the computer and happened to come across your internet history. What the fuck?

Man: Cool. Which ones do you like?

Example D:

Woman: Why do you feel the need to look at that stuff? Am I not enough for you?

Man: Do you really want the honest answer?

This is another bear trap. Believe me, she doesn’t want THE honest answer, but she has no choice. And you, Sir, have no choice but to give it to her. Temper it with compassion, but give her the truth.

Woman: Yes!

Man: Okay. Obvious I think you could be enough for me or I wouldn’t have stayed in the relationship. That said, presently it’s not enough for me. I take responsibility for not telling you that earlier. Now I will tell you what I need from this relationship, you can do the same, and we’ll let the chips fall where they may.

* * *

Okay. That seems as good a place as any to end this post. Of course there many more reasons women hate porn, but this post was already long enough. Go ahead and feel free to contribute your thoughts in the comments.

P.S. For those women who read this entire post and are soooo hurt and incensed by #2. I promise that my next post will be about how any of you can have a body that would make a porn star jealous. And I assure you, it has nothing to do with fake tits.

SGH – January 2013

This entry was posted in Infidelity, Men, Relationships, Sex, women. Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to The Top 4 Reasons Women Hate Porn

  1. Confused says:

    SGH,

    I found porn on my boyfriend’s computer and I experienced all of the emotions you listed (hurt, angry, etc) but not for the reasons you listed. I have the body of a porn star (I’m a 5’2″ hourglass shape with ass and boobs, 100 lbs, I work out 5 days a week, follow a strict vegetarian diet, etc.) I also don’t think I play the mind games most women play. The reason I was so hurt is because I BEG him for sex. I want it every night and am usually the one to initiate. In fact, I feel the one locked in a kind if High interest dick loan! He’s in the mood maybe every third night and that’s not enough for me. I sometimes masturbate after he falls asleep.

    That said, the porn greatly upset me because I would see that on the days we didn’t see each other/ have sex, he was masturbating to porn! I don’t get it. Am I wrong to be upset? I confronted him, and the exact scenario you wrote played out: I said I was hurt and upset, he promised not to do it again. But I realized that was a shallow fix so I asked if there is something he was in to that I’m not satisfying. I promised to be open, I promised not to get mad, I promised to try anything once. But he keeps denying that porn served any special purpose to him and just keeps clinging to the promise not to do it anymore.

    Obviously, I don’t want him to look at porn. But I want to be everything he wants sexually, and I’m wiling to be. Is something wrong with me? Why does his sex drive seem so much lower than mine, yet he will still masturbate to porn? Maybe it’s because girls are always (perhaps unfairly to men) raised to believe guys ALWAYS want it, but this whole thing has left me feeling like there is something wrong with me.

    • SGH says:

      Confused,
      First off, let me congratulate you on your porn star body composition, your dedication to working out enough to keep it that way, and most importantly on your healthy libido. You are a true rarity in this day and age.

      Okay, now on to addressing the gist of your comment: “I’m horny all the time and he wants to masturbate to porn! What the hell? I want to be the sole source of his desire”.

      Keep in mind that these are just thoughts based on what you said in your post.

      1) it could (I stress the word COULD) fall in #1 mentioned in the post. Your desire to be everything sexually for your man, and your apparent desire to make good on that desire, is admirable, but depending upon how this is presented to your man: a) “I need to fuck right now” or b) “Good good I need your beautiful cock/tongue/etc. inside me right now” conveys vastly different agendas. a) could could be construed as an attempt draw focus onto yourself in an attempt to control your man’s sexuality, whereas b) relays your overwhelming desire for YOUR man’s connection specifically. Just something to think about.

      2) While the hyper-sexual woman is something many men wish and hope and pray and dream about, for some men it can be overwhelming. Let me explain.

      I spite of what the mass media, human sexuality courses, and post feminism tomes describe, here is some of what the average young man is taught, by women and men alike, with regards to sex with a woman.
      a) If you are in bed with a woman you are responsible for her pleasure and her orgasm. If a woman doesn’t “cum” either through oral sex or intercourse you have failed as a lover and as a man.
      b) You cum after your woman cums. You must be able to control your orgasm, no matter how difficult, no matter that she is telling you to go harder and faster, until after she has cum. And preferably after she has cum a couple times. If you can’t achieve this you fail as a lover and as a man.
      c) And along these lines, a mere orgasm is sooo turn of the last century, you must now be able to make your woman squirt as well.
      d) Despite the fact that your passion, your desire, the volcano inside your body quakes with desire to devour your woman’s tits, ass and pussy, you must refrain from heading to these regions. You must delay your desire and instead focus on kissing and gently caresssing: the neck, the back of the kness, the lower back. DO NOT even think about touching or looking at her clit or labia until at least 30 to 40 minutes of this soft caressing has taken place. To do so is over zealous and paints you as the sexual beast you are.
      e) You must be better than all her previous lovers in spite of words to the contrary.
      f) If your cock doesn’t get hard at the drop of a hat you have ED.
      G) Cock size doesn’t matter really. Honest. Really. Girth matters more than length, but forget that because it really doesn’t matter. Honest.
      These are just a few of the general beliefs the average young man walks into the sexual world with. At times it can be overwhelming. With porn, none of these apply. Porn is a performance-free zone.

      3) Your boyfriend escapes into porn because either he is sexually insecure.

      4) Do you make your man feel desired? Are you presenting your horniness to him as something that needs to be quenched, or as a desire and passion for him specifically? I kind of alluded to this earlier, but I think it deserves a little more. Much is made about making a woman feel desired, but little is made in reverse. Many women raised on the “fairer sex” ideology simply rely on their mere presence as a source of arousal for their men, giving little or no thought to making the man feel desired. And why should they? Everyone thinks that women shit butterflies and men are stinky beasts, right? How often do you compliment his body, his looks?

      I can’t say that any of what I have written apply to you and your boyfriend specifically. They are just things to consider.

    • Anonymous says:

      sounds like we should meet up! :-)

  2. LittleBabyPara says:

    I LOVE your blog. The pics turn me on. I just spent the last 2 days reading every post. Truth for both sexes. Great writing. Keep posting!

  3. ditlett@hotmail.com says:

    I have to admit, I am a bit offended by #2, but not for the reason you assumed. When I met my husband I did have that rockin’ body which I kept up with quite well. It was him that relentlessly argued with me over my food and exercise choices, insisting that I was a bad cook for eating healthy and allowing my step children to refuse the meals I made (which I worked very hard on and my own even younger children enjoyed) until I finally gave up and started using his fat filled deep fried ones to appease him. Naturally I put on weight over time, very slowly… not even a pound a month, but the result being the same over the 9 years we’ve been together. I’m still not obese or anything, but also not who I was. His solution to this is that I should still cook his way, but eat less?!? WTF? This requires me to be hungry all the time, which everyone knows can’t really keep you thin. So I started looking around on the net, and low & behold… I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE! If you guys want us to look good for you, why do so many of you sabotage our efforts? What exactly do you think you have to gain by that? I feel it’s to make sure no other man desires me; if that’s the case, shouldn’t he stop desiring “hotter” women in return? Since you’re so hellbent on women letting go of the porn issue, how about a little help for us on the food issue?

    • SGH says:

      I am going to dedicate a post on this very topic, so look back. What I will say right now is that you are correct. Your husband is sabotaging you with his food choices. However, you have to be in control of what you put in your body. No one else should be allowed. If he wants to eat garbage than that is his prerogative, but you don’t have to follow along. A nice balance might be to look into The Paleo Style of Eating. I think you and your husband will be surprised at how good it is to eat this way and how awesome your bodies will end up looking.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Male shovenist pig

  5. Anonymous says:

    porn is gross cos it objectifies women and compounds the idea that the perfect woman should be sexually available to all men at all times. also the vast majority of women do not look like porn stars. this isnt a bad thing, its just natural. you dont look like a porn star. you dont look like a buff blond pool boy either. you don’t seem to think you have any end of an aesthetic bargain to hold up, so why should tuntenable unlucky enough to be with you?

    • SGH says:

      To answer a few things in your comment.

      “porn is gross cos it objectifies women and compounds the idea that the perfect woman should be sexually available to all men at all times.”

      Very nice on the standard feminist opinion of porn. Obviously you have never looked at porn because there is wide variety out there. Including women kicking men in the balls, which I’m sure would appeal to you. Also, the shift key is used to capitalize the first the letter of a sentence. Just a quick tid-bit.

      also the vast majority of women do not look like porn stars. this isnt a bad thing, its just natural. you dont look like a porn star.

      Um…the vast majority of LAZY women with cookie crumbs covering their XL blouses don’t look like porn stars. Anyone can have an incredible body. What it takes is hard work, education (you can do this yourself), and discipline. Unfortunately most women and MEN can’t/won’t do any of the three.

      you dont look like a porn star. dont look like a buff blond pool boy either.

      Your right. I LOOK BETTER. 6 foot, 170 lbs, with 7% bodyfat. That isn’t a lie. You know how? I workout 6 days a week, and know a hell of a lot about nutrition.

      so why should tuntenable unlucky enough to be with you?

      What the hell are you trying to say here? I have no idea.

      • Marta T. says:

        A Facebook `friend` posted this article, and I am here out of curiosity, to see people`s reactions to the language, which I find chauvinistic and the picture, which did not fit into my circle. In addition, the above comment is condescending. Who cares about the shift key and capital letters? And, BTW, you don`t know the difference between you`re“ and your“ – so just chill! Who cares about your 7% body fat, that you work out 6 days a week, and know a hell of a lot about nutrition? What do you know about a woman`s psyche, her dreams, her purpose in life? Do you care about anything beyond body and pussy? Do you realize there are men who want to commit totally because they love?

        Please, women, don`t fall into that trap of wanting to look like a porn star because a) porn stars are not role models and b) as many women find out, this society has created masses of men who are addicted to porn and can never be satisfied by one women – no matter what she looks like and no matter what she does to satisfy them.

        Human beings deserve true loving partners who cherish their entire being.

        • SGH says:

          Marta-Believe it or not, I respect your opinions. Now the one piece of your comment I will take issue with is the whole “you don’t know the difference between you’re and your” nonsense. Marta, it is called a typo. Please do yourself a favor and don’t fall into the trap of being a grammar Nazi in a weak effort to make the person you’re disagreeing with feel stupid. It, on the contrary, makes you look like some impotent sophomore in English lit from a community college. Come on Marta! You’re better than that! Do not fall into the trap.

  6. Kim says:

    A rebuttal…

    PORN CHALLENGES A WOMAN’S OWNERSHIP OF HER MAN’S SEXUALITY. False. The issue with porn is not that women hate the idea of a man watching other people fuck. We also know that boys learn to jerk off in their teen years and they pretty much never stop, they don’t have the control over themselves to NOT jerk off. The issue with porn is the hiding, sneaking and lying about it. There is also the issue of guys thinking “all women are the same” and that we are not as interested in having sex as they are, so they pretty much have a porn stash by default before even giving her a chance.

    PORN CHALLENGES WOMEN TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BODIES. False. It gives insecure women and young girls the idea that without SURGERY they will never be as attractive as the women he watches. Nobody looks at amateur porn or someone with natural tits and gets upset. It’s the overly inflated stick figures that screw with a womans sense of what a man finds attractive. Your “oreo eating XL shirt wearing” misogynistic example of a woman is someone with self esteem issues, not a standard example of women who take issue with porn.

    IT DISRUPTS THE PERCEPTION THAT PUSSY AND TITS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT ARE SEXUALLY BEAUTIFUL. False. Teenage girls think boys stink because they stop showering when they grow their armpit hair, and they stink. Boys don’t learn how to take care of themselves in this way until late junior high…when girls start becoming attracted to them again. Early to late jr high is also the age boys usually discover porn, and while girls are waiting for their “Disney prince” to come and sweep them off their feet, they are being met with propositions of rubbing fuzzies in dad’s shed. “Ew” is a natural response for a young woman to being propositioned for sex. Girls with a natural and healthy view of sex anyway, who haven’t been perverted by this onslaught of porn in our culture. I’ll save some space by not going into how young women should not ever feel that they have to have sex with someone, at any time, ever.

    BECAUSE MEN LIE ABOUT IT, THEY REVEAL HOW weak THEY ARE. True. I agree wholeheartedly on this – don’t sit up there and tell me you don’t watch porn. Tell me you do, tell me you do it daily, and let me decide whether or not this is something I want to deal with. When it’s found and you lie, you have brought mistrust into our relationship. Trust is a huge thing to be willing to give up over porn, so it makes us wonder how much you truly value the relationship, vs. how much you just want another warm body in the house. I have had this happen both ways, and I have to tell you, I have a lot more respect for the man who asked me to put on something sexy one night, and watch some of his favorite scenes with him. He and I never had an issue with porn, we did not hide our internet history, and I never worried about him lying to me. About anything.

    Let’s not overshadow the effects of Low T here either: you guys aren’t exactly forthcoming with what’s going on healthwise down there, so a lot of this “self-love” is simple lack of performance, that you just don’t want to tell us about.

    To close off, let me add a bit of dialogue that could help in that situation. I will keep the nasty, angry approach of the woman in place to show how a man can still be a man, even when his woman is upset:

    Woman: I was on the computer and happened to come across your internet history. What the fuck?
    Man: I guess I could have told you this before, but it’s just something I like to do. Like sports or barbecuing, I just enjoy it. Please don’t take it personally, that could never compare to you *stroll up with fire in your eyes and fuck her silly. enjoy spontaneous pancakes and bacon to follow.*

    Woman: I was on the computer and happened to come across your internet history. What the fuck?
    Man: Babe…there’s something I should probably tell you, it’s just I’m a bit ashamed and it’s hard to say. I like to sneak off quietly while you are sleeping to go and watch porn because when I actually come on to you, I-
    1. am not physically fit to handle actual sex
    2. have low testosterone
    3. have erectile dysfunction
    4. have low self esteem and fear rejection
    -and it’s just easier to bust a nut and not think about it. I know this leaves you sexually unsatisfied and you are frustrated because you love me. Maybe instead of just the instant fix of porn I can do more to try and make things better.”
    Woman: …*vagina explodes in happiness and awe, loves him forever. makes him pancakes and bacon*

    • Lisa says:

      THANK YOU Kim for your response. I was just about to reply in a similar fashion, and you beat me to the punch. There are a LOT more points that could be made here, but you hit the most important ones. THANK YOU.

      • SGH says:

        Lisa, meet Kim. Kim, this is Lisa. You sound like a match made in heaven. And to think, you met each other here. Tears are now filling my eyes. Ex…excuse me.

        • Kim says:

          I’m sure you know where to find the tissues, SGH. BA-BOOM!!!
          Thanks Lisa. One point I left out is that the real tragedy here is in the 11-13 year old (sometimes younger) girls running around with more sexually deviant thoughts and experiences than all of us because they are growing up in this world. In my lifetime I’ve literally watched one family pass down a box of porn from generation to generation, no advice on life skills or future, the men just needed to pay the porn forward…they all want to remain in that dead, warped state of mind around sex and relationships like many men out here. I’m worried about all the young girls with this “you can’t beat em join em” mentality who are willing to dumb themselves down because they are tired of only the “hot” girls getting the attention. Fit girls are altering their bodies to look more like porn stars, and there is no help for the bigger girls and their self-esteem.

          I hope it turns out better than my doom and gloom perspective, but I’m only going off of what I’ve seen.

          • SGH says:

            Kim,
            I just want to say that in no way am I suggesting that women or girl should surgically alter their bodies to conform to a porn ideal. That’s the lazy way of redesigning yourself, and generally it ends in tears.

            What is your definition of deviant?

            I don’t know of any ANY men who enjoy the company of “dumbed-down” women. But then, I generally don’t hang out with many men, so perhaps there is this reality TV based type of guy out there who would find that attractive. I choose to not let them into my reality.

            Not all fit girls alter their bodies (I am assuming you mean surgically). I know many hard-bodied women who got that way through hard-assed work in the gym and a good diet. See the most recent post. As for those who feel the need to get fake tits? I can assure you that the majority of men with half a brain in their head look upon those women with sadness.

            “There is no help for bigger girls and their self-esteem.” See the newest post. If that is not enough info, feel free to email me and I will give you more.

            As for the tissues…the only time I ever need them is if I watch a film or read a book that deals with the death of an animal. Thus, I have learned to stay away from those as well.

          • Kim says:

            I know you didn’t say that anyone should alter their bodies SGH, and I did not imply that you did – I said that the overly altered so-called “perfect” (Courtney Stodden types) screw with a woman’s sense of what men find attractive when those are the type of women the men want to ogle and beat off watching. And I am not arguing about how women get hard bodies…not sure why you think I am? My point is that you can work as hard as you want to stay fit (and I do) to still find that men want to watch porn and stare at these “inflated” types.

            I also never implied that the only way to get fit was through surgery – I work hard most days of the week to stay fit and haven’t had a single fat cell sucked out or injection – but in sticking with my example, no amount of working out will get you that “Stodden body” which are the types you see in porn. Women show encouragement and pride towards other women for working hard and being healthy, I personally don’t know one single woman who lazes around gaining weight and complaining that everyone else is pretty without working on herself, but it’s clear you and I don’t know the same women.

            “What is your definition of deviant?” Kids this age should not be focusing on who is the best at any one sex act or who has the most knowledge of different positions etc. It isn’t natural. Before you could basically breathe on your computer and turn up a porn site, these kids were not as sexual and there is a direct connection between the two. There is a direct connection between what kids are exposed to these days and how prematurely innocence is lost.

            Basically, you can write an article on how women feel, that is your right of course it’s your blog – what I offered was a perspective from a real woman, who is not eating her weight in oreos or hating on women who hit the gym, and I happen to know more women like me than the women in your examples.

    • Veritasiumkage says:

      Kim your argument has no weight as a rebuttal. Women you don’t own any man- or his libido, and if you don’t like him looking at porn- surprise! You can then find a ‘man’ who ‘doesn’t watch porn!!??’ You will find either a liar or a man as good as castrated (no balls.) We are fucking primates when the f**k are people actually going to appreciate this? I’ve read the rest of your posts Kim, kids not having sex is all I agreed with. Overall the opinions I heard from you were just that, opinions- not facts. Your silly inherited stone age outlook combined with a twist of your assumptions make me very mad. I don’t care about your experience I care about proven facts. Fuckin idiot just starting each paragraph with ‘false.’ Then writing a heap of hearsay from your miserable life and passing it off as facts that relate to the world. I hope you- and your computer get a virus to save us all from a repost.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I agree with this post whole heartedly. I’m sick and tired of living in a world where women control everything.

  8. LWW says:

    Yawn. This whole piece was an ode to passe’ attitudes and reflects nothing new, fresh, or unique. As long as we stay stuck in this same conversation, agreeing that ‘women are x’ and ‘men say y’, we will get nowhere further than both sexes DESERVING a relationship with porn. The ‘problem’ with (any kind of) porn only exists when there are lies, insecurities, and considerations outside of sex that impede TRUST and communication in a relationship. Y’all seem to be confusing love and sex. I am gonna go play porn star with my chosen partner — y’all can have at it with your mags and DVDs.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Daaaammmmm Gina

  10. kim says:

    Women have to stay in shape, but you don’t comment on the husband above who eats crap food and doesn’t take care of himself? I’m so tired of seeing out of shape men. Look around, there are not nearly as many men who watch what they eat or give attention to their look or dress. You criticize the misspelling of “chauvinist” but then you call the other spell-checker who called out your/you’re a grammar Natzi? This article, as well as your comments, are condescending, selfish and full of so many untruths. You don’t think that by insisting that women just “get over” porn is not controlling women?? You don’t think that women in society in general are not often controlled by men? Women’s suffrage was really not all that long ago and women still only make 71 cents to the male dollar. I guarantee if the tables were turned, men would be out of control with anger at being minimized in society. Show some compassion, will you? This is a two way issue, where BOTH sides needs to be understanding. This article does not even touch on respect or compassion.

  11. kim says:

    You also said that most men with half a brain would feel sad for women who feel they need to get breast implants. Well, most women in porn have breast implants. Why are they not sad? Also, there was an ABC report that breast implants are commonly given as gifts to high school and college graduate girls. You can say it’s sad, but you have no idea what pressure and messages girls and women are given almost everywhere they look.

  12. Anonymous says:

    To put it simply this article is an insult to women. I am divorcing a porn addict – porn destroys trust, is wrecking 50% of all marriages and leaving men unable to have normal loving relationships. In the end women will live alone and the world will be full of fat men sitting at their laptops everyday wan&£ng off to porn as they are addicted, and women will be enjoying life alone. Unless the extreme porn is controlled this will get worse and worse. Btw I’m blonde, 5’6 size 10 shapely and no cookie crumbs on my lap – you are an idiot man. I bet you even think bukkake is sex – its not – it’s about men controlling women and the woman receiving and doing as she is told. It’s not Victorian times – go and grow up somewhere

    • SGH says:

      Partners retreat into fantasy (Porn) when their reality becomes unfulfilling and unacceptable.

      P.S. Do yourself a favor and dispense with the “it is an insult to women” ideological spewing. It can make you sound like high school freshman who reads Jezebel everyday.

  13. Cindy says:

    Yet another man blaming their actions on women and their level of ” porn quality” . The sense of entitlement I read here is enough to make any woman mad. Men are not entitled to use womens bodies as for pleasure and self fulfillment, even though that is what society teaches. Womens bodies are not something to be used and consumed. Until this sense of entitlement is addressed, real relationships with men that use porn will be superficial at best. Oh wait, that’s no a problem since obviously all the men care about is getting laid and not the relationship that should go with that. Virtual infidelity is real and hurtful and telling women to get over it due to our supposed low self esteems is pointless. Men use porn even if they have the perfect woman, since lust is insatiable. This post is simply a list of reasons men tell themselves that justify their objectification and use of women as they see fit. If this is how men really think and act, I would rather be alone.

    • SGH says:

      Um…is everything you said her cut and pasted from r/feminism 101? I would reply but there would be no point. You are brainwashed by your ideology. There is no hope for you.

  14. Carmen says:

    I read your article and you could be right, not all women fall into that category. For me, I have a distaste for porn because I was molested as a child. When I look at porn, I see pictures being created for the purposes of a man or women to use and take advantage of someone else. I feel that our society is oversexed and because of that causes society except men and women to treat each other as objects versus human beings. I feel that this ideal leads to child molestation, also the ever growing sex trade, where men, women and children are exploited, used and forced into porn, and prostitution. These are treated as objects. In a way I am glad that you don’t. See it my way, because if you don’t you have probably never experienced to trauma of being molested or used. Thank you very much for your time. By the way I have never used sex to manipulate my spouse, we have a grey sex life even though I don’t like porn

  15. Roland says:

    SGH,
    As a porn addict myself I can see both points of view. The issues surrounding are various and sundrie.
    I look at porn especially when I do not feel good about myself. Whose responsibility is this … mine.
    Sex is used in our society by both genders. My first wife rarely initiated sex when we were married and was rarely interested in exploring our sexuality as couple. Once we were divorced she was a primordial vixen. Literally doing anything and everything because she thought it was what I wanted. When we tried to make another relationship work we were both the same people with the same issues which caused me to pursue a divorce in the first place. It was clear to me my exwife was using sex to get what she wanted … us.

    My current wife (not getting divorced again) was all over me until we tied the not. On our honeymoon in idyllic Bora Bora she could care less about sex. So now we have sex/make love 3-4 times a month which I 95% of the time initiate. For the most part it seems she just wants to check it off the list of her to-dos and get on with her day. Despite how much I compliment her on her appearance, buy flowers, etc things do not change.

    When I dress nicely to go out with male friends (just to chilis to watch hockey) my wife asks me where I am going dressed like “that” and with whom am I going. She knows the answer to this question before she asks it.

    Back to the addiction (as your female readers will want to know) … I usually go 6-8 weeks before I slip up and look at porn and then do the deed. This means in the interim I don’t look at porn or wack off. Things are much better when I do not wack off and much better than before when I would look at porn for hours on end. I think my wife is happier knowing I don’t do what I did before but then again I am not really ever sure if she is happy with our relationship or her life.

    I often wish I was a gentrified Englishman and liked gardening more than sex.

    The issues about porn, sex, and relationships are surely complex.

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